Cheating, it’s something that most people do. It’s a part of us and completely natural to be attracted to other people besides our girlfriends or boyfriends. When one acts instinctively on those feelings could be quite disappointing to your boyfriend or girlfriend, however. Disappointment may likely lead to a shit-storm.
First of all, why do people say “honey, it’s not what you think” when they’re caught cheating?
“Oh no, it isn’t? You mean to tell me that this asshole’s dick accidentally fell in your vagina?
Let’s check the absurd answers cheating girlfriends/boyfriends come up with when caught in the act.
1. Guy says: “Babe, I swear I thought it was you.”
Kicker: the lights were on!
2. Chick says: “Thank God you’re here, he was raping me!”
Kicker: she was grinding, not crying!
3. Guy says: “It’s for scientific research purposes. We’re saving lives here!”
Kicker: His girlfriend crashed his motorbike for research purposes afterwards!
4. Chick Says: “We were both drunk and we got naked. Clearly the alcohol is at fault here!”
Kicker: He spread hermaphrodite rumors about her!
5. Guy Says: “Just wait a second honey, I’m almost done.”
Kicker: His stupid girlfriend waited until he finished!
6. Chick Says: “Muffin (dog) died and I was feeling lonely.”
Kicker: Muffin was humping skittles (her pet rabbit)!
7. Guy Says: “Will you marry me?”
Kicker: She switched teams!
8. Chick Says:”This is not working Jay, you have to test drive a car before you buy it!”
Kicker: He’s saving it till marriage.
9. Guy Says:”There something wrong with the gravity here, I keep tripping and falling into her!”
Kicker: She slipped and fell on his brother!
10. Chick Says:”If it helps, I was thinking of you!”
Kicker: According to her girlfriends, she actually was thinking of him!
11. Guy Says: “I always thought I was gay so I had to confirm with another girl.”
Kicker: He got away with it!
12. Chick Says: “It was an act of God, otherwise it wouldn’t have happened.”
Kicker: She didn’t know that he’s an Atheist!
13. Guy Says: “Jessica, something took over my thoughts and everything. I was possessed!”
Kicker: She also became ‘possessed’ while having sex with three of his buddies!
14. Chick Says: “I thought he kidnapped you, I was paying the ransom!”
Kicker: He hasn’t left the house for a week!
15. Guy Says:”What took you so long? We had to start without you.”
Kicker: She was supposed to be gone for another week for work.
16. Chick Says:”I’m doing Hannah a favor, she’s gone for the month.”
Kicker: Hannah caught them in the act first.
17. Guy Says:”I got hit in the groin today and before I go to the Doctor, I need to know if having sex hurts.”
Kicker: His girlfriend almost bit his penis off! Guess it hurts now!
18. Chick Says: “You’re too small for me!”
Kicker: Her boyfriend’s black!
19. Guy Says: “I’m a lion and I have the right to fuck the females in my pride!”
Kicker: He made that shit up because the TV was on discovery Channel.
20. Chick Says: “You never let me come first!”
Kicker: She still doesn’t!
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One Comment
This is hilarious! I like the one where the guy was raping the girl and she was moaning…this shit happened to a friend of mine. Do you live in NYC by any chance Liam?
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