Respect and love yourself first!

This whole week I’ve been feeling confused and lost. It has absolutely nothing to do with myself, but a cousin of mine passed away the day before yesterday. She died on a table in the operation room. I really don’t want to say this but it was her own fault………..Since we were little, the boys liked her and the girls either envy her or wanted to be her. She was beautiful. She had a beautiful body and looked like a model since she was a teenager. She was four years older than me. I always looked up to her, she was my favorite cousin and I only took advice from her in matters of the heart until she moved away. I was only thirteen or fourteen years old when she moved to the States. She became a successful model but died at thirty three.

When she began her career, she was all natural but as she got more jobs, she was doing drugs to keep up with work. When she was 25, which is old for the “business” supposedly, she got her first plastic surgery done. I really don’t recall what it was precisely, but I’m pretty sure it was in the facial area. After that she did her lips, boobs (twice), her ears (they were too pointy according to her), took a rib out on each side, liposuction, silicon butt cheeks, cut half of her pinky toe to fit into super uncomfortable shoes, face lift, Botox and more that I can’t even begin to explain.

Her mother, my uncle’s wife told the family as she was reinventing herself by doing all these changes due to work and it was required for her to continue modeling. Of course no one believed her! Everyone knew that it was her boyfriend/manager that was pushing her to do all those things. He laid his hands on her on numerous occasions when she didn’t do what he wanted. It even reached the news twice.

If you see the world through my eyes, you will never ever blame the asshole boyfriend. If he was abusive, she should’ve got rid of him. How scared can you be of one man? You’re famous, people know you, and you can easily get a restraining order against the bastard. But no, you stuck with him all these years doing what he supposedly told you to do. I just don’t get how people can be so powerless against one person. (Especially women in abusive relationships)

I met the manager/boyfriend once and of course I didn’t like him. It was clear to me that he was just using my cousin for his own benefits. My uncle after the first incident, he stopped greeting him and he was cold to her as well. It was an unfortunate situation that never should’ve happened if she respected and loved herself enough to stand strong and tall against him.

My cousin was only 33 but if you look at her, you would think he’s a 50 year old looking good for her age. She completely redefined her entire self on the outside and inside. The cousin I looked up to died many, many years ago. I feel somewhat guilty for not have at least try to advice her, help her, even smack her into reality. It’s too late to be sorry now. I love you cousin and I’ll miss you.

To all you young girls out there, beware of the vicious and malevolent people that are preying on your innocence. Beware! Be careful! Most importantly respect and love yourself so that others will too!