Opposites attract, but do they really?

I have a brilliant friend. He’s been my best friend since I was 3 years old. He’s a wonderful, loving and caring person. He’s educated; a biologist in fact but till this day I can’t understand what he sees in his girlfriend of 10 plus years.

Yesterday my husband and I had dinner with them. I really feel sorry for my friend and I really don’t know what to do in this case. She was talking over him during dinner, she swears a lot and I do mean a lot, she has little closer to none table manners and has a temper of a raging bull. I love critics, but sometimes you have to be cautious and polite about what you say to people. While a guest was leaving the restaurant, she shouted “Hey you, yeah you come here!” Everybody was looking! My husband swears that my mouth was so wide open that I could have caught a butterfly. She gave the guest (a bald guy BTW) a card, a business card of her hair shop and says to him “Just come by anytime if you really want to get girls and go home with them.” I felt really sorry for the guy. She spoke so loud that everyone was watching. My friend sat there, he didn’t say anything and just looked down. When I asked her why she would embarrass someone like that in front of many people, she responds “You may not see it but I just did that guy a favor.”

I’m not going to mention any names. I was told that many Canadians visit this blog but I’m going to further tell you about the unhealthy relationship my dear friend is in.  Firstly, she’s an heiress, a millionaire but has no education whatsoever. She didn’t even finish elementary school, although she does propagate of having a business degree. LOL! I once met her entire family by the way. They are loud swearing uneducated people with money. It’ was definitely a laughing matter for the whole town we grew up in and it still is. When her father died, she inherited many millions and opened many shops that later closed because of her lack of knowledge.  She treated her employees badly, blamed them for her failures and took it out on my friend. She is more than often described as a cheap, selfish, arrogant, stubborn, money loving prick. I know for a fact that she cheats on my friend. They broke up and made up countless times over stupid irrelevant things however once over her cheating.

My friend is living in ignorance. I just don’t understand him either. He’s like the girl in the relationship. He works for a well known laboratory and is a joke to many people including his girlfriend’s family. Apart from me, he has other close friends as well but they make fun of him behind his back. I want to believe that he is truly in love with her but I wonder what kind of person doesn’t respect themselves first to endure in such torturous relationship. A year has 365 days, in that year; they will be at peace with each other more or less 15 to 20 days. She owns a hair shop for about 5 months now. It’s the perfect business for her to find any and every excuse to fly to the US to buy hair. Sometimes she will tell him upon her arrival at the airport that she went away on business. Who in this world could live this way? I really don’t understand how someone can abide this whole “thing”. The reason I say “thing” is because there isn’t a name for it.

Someone once told me; Deedee, don’t feel sorry for no one because no one will feel sorry for you. The thing is that I can’t help feeling sorry for my friend. I know that he’s in the relationship because he wants to. In my opinion, he needs to start respecting himself otherwise she won’t. My husband always advises me to tell him about her cheating habit. I tell him that I don’t like to meddle in other people’s business and especially relationships. If he wasn’t my brother/friend, I would never, ever, ever tell. Because he’s so close to me, I am somewhat confused. Well, till this day I haven’t said anything but I don’t know how much longer I can hold my silence. At the same time though, I am afraid. What if I told him and instead of breaking it off, he forgives her again? What if he tells her that I was the one who told on her?